It's a lovely summer day, work's on break, I just finished my summer class, and (most importantly) all my usual shows are on hiatus. So, after years of mocking the "bloggers" who feel the need to share their every mental fart--and actual fart, for that matter--with the general public, I'm using this free time to start my own blog! Get excited!
I would like to maintain that I am still not labeling myself as a blogger. I am a hopeful writer who needs a forum to pressure myself into keeping up with my writing. I am a wannabe comedian who wants to test out potential laughs. I still haven't decided entirely what form this blog will take. It might be mostly excited rants and raves, it might be random lists that occur to me, jokes about news articles I find, or just occasional one-liners that pop into my head. Who knows? Join me on the ride, why don't you? And have patience while I work on getting into a stride with it. It might, like most of my usual endeavors, start out a bit awkward and chaotic before starting to make any sort of sense (ahem, reference to my sex life? not at all...).
I'm setting just a few ground rules for myself with this though. I could just keep them to myself, but I'm choosing to post them here so I can't start breaking them in my inevitable slide towards douchey bloggerdom without at least a tinge of guilt. So here they go:
1. Never use any form of the phrase "my dear readers." At best, this is presumptuous, assuming that anyone will care to regularly read my ramblings. And at worst, considering I haven't decided yet whether to actually work on publicizing this, it's bordering on schizophrenic and creepily talking to myself. Plus, it's just kind of douchey.
2. The word "Blogosphere" is verboten, even ironically. I hate this word. I cringe everytime I hear it. I think it's because it sounds like some outer layer of the earth's atmosphere, suggesting some amount of skill or useful assets necessary to reach it. That is the opposite of the so-called blogosphere. I don't want to support any delusions that blogging suggests any sort of accomplishment.
3. Details of my personal life will be kept to a minimum. This is not a diary, a Facebook or Twitter account, or an autobiography. I don't want to brag about personal accomplishments or expose any of my friends or foes. This one is more of a guideline than a rule, since some mention of my personal life will be unavoidable. But generally it should only come in when I have something "funny" to say about it, or it's necessary to explain something else.
... I think that's it for rules. Wow, two and a half rules, I really have no self-discipline, do I? Oh well, I'm too inclined to breakage for rules to last anyways.
Oh, well, off to change the baby's diaper now before it stinks up the whole house.
(Spontaneous addendum to rule 3. I will randomly place falsehoods about my personal life to counteract the accidental details and throw off any potential stalkers. Oh yeah, I'm optimistic about my coming fanbase.)
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