It's Friday!!
Currently my least favorite day of the week. I know, I know, college-student blasphemy, right? Well, besides the fact that I'm a recent nonalcoholic, so Friday no longer means means partying*, for all of those in the twitastic tworld of twitter, Friday means #FF. The first few times I saw that particular hashtag, I had no clue what it meant. For a while I actually thought it was supposed to be the start of a "FFFFUUUU-" joke or something. Which, given the context of the tweets, made just about 0 sense. Once I took that shameful n00b step of looking it up on Urban Dictionary, I found out the sad truth. FF is follow Friday. Which means I get these random useless tweets full of usernames I don't give a shit about every week. Yaaaay!! Yes, because following the Daily Show and its writers clearly is a sign that I also want to follow fashion blogs, corporate accounts, and people whose Twitter accounts do nothing but promote themselves.
Let me be clear here. I am not exactly a habitual Tweeter. I don't use hashtags in normal conversation, I don't automatically know how much of a quote can fit into 140 letters, and I don't give a shit about your craving for Chipotle or the kind of funny thing that your friend said that you really just had to be there for. In fact, the fact that "#hadtobethere" is a thing just perplexes me to no end. Really the only reason I even have a Twitter account is because I have discovered that there are a number of professional comedians who pretty much exclusively tweet great one-liners or links to other hilarious stuff. Those are the only people I follow. Even any good comedian (besides Stephen Colbert, cause his is worth it) who uses their Twitter to promote themselves or one of their events more than once or twice a month, I will not follow. If you're a comedian and you won't me to like you, be funny. That's is literally ALL it takes. Hashtagging your own name and linking to your Ticketmaster page every other day will NOT increase your fanbase.
For me, Twitter is just a much funnier, more rounded procrastination tool than textsfromlastnight. I don't even really ever tweet. I kinda just started to today, and the idea is weirding me out.
Twitter is one of those few technologies that makes me feel old. I'm fucking 19, and somehow I feel too old for Twitter. A 19 year old should NOT have technologies that make then feel old. The only technologies I should be too old for are Baby Einstein videos and autotuning in preteen pop music.**
But I honestly feel like an old retiree shouting over my hearing aid, "YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT A TWEET IS, BUT IT BETTER STAY OFF MY LAWN!!"
I just don't see the novel appeal of finding things about your life to communicate that are so banal they fit into 140 characters or less. Or in reading it. I just did the math, and if this blog post were done in tweets, then right now I would be up to 21 tweets. And I've still said essentially nothing of significance! I don't know, maybe I'm just not concise enough for the modern world. I still need grammar and the ability to bolden, footnote, and italicize where most people today can make it with nothing but abbreviations.
Alright, let me test myself, and try to sum up this whole post in Twitter limit:
#FF has ruined my Fridays. I do not care who you follow. I just want to read funny shit. 140 characters is not enough for me. Fuck twitter.
Sweet. Perfect grammar and 1 character to spare! Maybe I can do this after all...
*I actually accidentally switched the words Friday and partying when typing that at first. That's what life used to be.
**Really you had to see that coming, in a post all about Fridays. (Also, has this become this year's rickrolling yet? Cause it is SO much worse. Rebeccarolling needs to be a thing.)
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